What Happens When a Performer Doesn't Perform?
In my very first blog post, (which was actually written long before the version of it posted on this blog) I talked about the differences between "Capital A" Artists and Performers, and how I am, at heart, a performer. Back then, I was still doing a bit of theatre work, singing with a couple of cover bands, and starting to turn my "side hustle" (teaching) into my main money earning job.
Cut to 2018. I haven't had a non-music job in almost 2 years... which is awesome! I have discovered a love for teaching that I hadn't really known was there, and I feel immeasurably lucky that I get to make music almost every day. I work a couple of days a week at a "strip mall music school" and the remainder of the week I teach from home, under the name Desert Home Music. I started this company with my husband/bassist/arranger/all around awesome dude, Adam Jones. We learned a lot having piloted this business model when we lived in Portland, and were able to take those lessons with us to start up again in Arizona when we moved here last year.
The trouble is, I've hardly done any actual performing since we moved. At first, I didn't really notice, and when I did, there were lots of good reasons to put it off. I tried to answer some Craigslist ads for singers in established bands, but the fact that I teach most evenings makes it hard to set a rehearsal schedule with the "normal 9-5" people. Same thing for community/church choirs (a performance outlet I used to take advantage of in between theatre jobs). I realized that I'd just have to wait until I met enough musicians to start my own project again. Then the business started to take off and I got busy - unfortunately too busy to get out to shows and meet other musicians. So performing took a back seat again.
It wasn't really until the last couple of months that I realized how much I've missed playing live, with other musicians, in front of an audience. As the school year ended and my schedule lightened up, I noticed that I wasn't feeling rested, even though I had tons more free time than I've had all year. Some of my joy seemed to be missing. We went to a Sunday afternoon jazz jam and it came back, at least for the few minutes I was singing with the band.
To be honest, I felt a little stupid - that it took that moment to understand how much I'd missed performing - how much I need it to feel like myself.
Robert Fulghum (the "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" guy) wrote an essay about how September felt like the actual New Year, since he'd spent so much time as a teacher... the beginning of school always feels like the start of a new cycle of living.
I need a new cycle of living - one that has a lot more performing in it. Emotionally, making that happen sounds exhausting, but intellectually I know it will be exhilarating and empowering, as soon as I get started.
In Arizona, school starts at the beginning of August, instead of September. And I have a surprise gig coming up next week with JPJQ. The new year's looking good!
Cut to 2018. I haven't had a non-music job in almost 2 years... which is awesome! I have discovered a love for teaching that I hadn't really known was there, and I feel immeasurably lucky that I get to make music almost every day. I work a couple of days a week at a "strip mall music school" and the remainder of the week I teach from home, under the name Desert Home Music. I started this company with my husband/bassist/arranger/all around awesome dude, Adam Jones. We learned a lot having piloted this business model when we lived in Portland, and were able to take those lessons with us to start up again in Arizona when we moved here last year.
The trouble is, I've hardly done any actual performing since we moved. At first, I didn't really notice, and when I did, there were lots of good reasons to put it off. I tried to answer some Craigslist ads for singers in established bands, but the fact that I teach most evenings makes it hard to set a rehearsal schedule with the "normal 9-5" people. Same thing for community/church choirs (a performance outlet I used to take advantage of in between theatre jobs). I realized that I'd just have to wait until I met enough musicians to start my own project again. Then the business started to take off and I got busy - unfortunately too busy to get out to shows and meet other musicians. So performing took a back seat again.
It wasn't really until the last couple of months that I realized how much I've missed playing live, with other musicians, in front of an audience. As the school year ended and my schedule lightened up, I noticed that I wasn't feeling rested, even though I had tons more free time than I've had all year. Some of my joy seemed to be missing. We went to a Sunday afternoon jazz jam and it came back, at least for the few minutes I was singing with the band.
To be honest, I felt a little stupid - that it took that moment to understand how much I'd missed performing - how much I need it to feel like myself.
Robert Fulghum (the "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" guy) wrote an essay about how September felt like the actual New Year, since he'd spent so much time as a teacher... the beginning of school always feels like the start of a new cycle of living.
I need a new cycle of living - one that has a lot more performing in it. Emotionally, making that happen sounds exhausting, but intellectually I know it will be exhilarating and empowering, as soon as I get started.
In Arizona, school starts at the beginning of August, instead of September. And I have a surprise gig coming up next week with JPJQ. The new year's looking good!
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